Monday, July 9, 2007

Bacteria, or the time I was really bored and decided to investigate a cult

Once I cut my finger outside the Church of Scientology. Tom Cruise was there and he saw the blood and he sucked on my finger. Katie watched, her eyebrows angled angrily. He said to me, "When the aliens come, they will promote me to God status. I've ingested so much blood!" and then he ran away with his arms in the air, jumping occasionally, screaming "I love her! When the aliens come! I am the new God!" I watched him go, shaking my head, longing for anti-bacterial soap. His saliva was on me!

Walking home, I started to feel strangely. I couldn't stop staring at the sky. When I got home, I climbed onto my roof and waited for night. The sky was clear and I could see stars. I thought, that's where they'll come from.

I fell asleep there, staring at the sky. I woke to friends yelling at me. But I didn't feel like going out and having fun. I decided to hang out on the roof for a while, till sunrise, then go to church for the rest of the day. Maybe get connected to some aluminum probes. Find peace on a boat somewhere in the Pacific.

2 comments:

will said...

i like that. i like that a lot. scientology is always funny.

amber said...

thank you :)

go here to read about celebrity scientologists...some of them would surprise you:

http://www.cracked.com/index.php?name=news&sid=1994&pageid=1