Thursday, June 28, 2007

Monday, June 25, 2007

say goodbye to miss negativity

i am taking a break to regain my loving feeling

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

and to think, i never used to get sick

but now i am. at work. taking trips to the bathroom waiting for my ride to get here. woohoo flu. or food poisoning. or something.

Thursday, June 14, 2007

5 weeks left at this effing job

Saturday, June 9, 2007

Erasure Poems While Waiting for Sushi

Earth without directions
the gyroscope said
the stunt identified spending hours under water

a beggar plays a penny
his collection honest
police thought it was costume jewelry
said the ring was a proposal
claimed after days

making troops making music
marketing music
dealership says sad that
war could make harmonicas handy
anyone can play to some degree

Friday, June 8, 2007

god this week has sucked. could just one thing go right? please.

Thursday, June 7, 2007

I feel anxious. I feel like people are talking about me behind my back. I am being paranoid. But I am all kinds of rattled and want to punch someone in the face.

What We Overheard

Ever notice how when you overhear other people talking they inevitably sound like idiots. It's not that I don't sound like an idiot, quite the contrary. It's that we all talk about such mindless, stupid, unimportant things that when you hear other people you're faced with the fact that we don't often have anything to say. Or, if you are talking about something that actually 'matters,' you still sound like a prat. Like you think you're better than somebody else, or smarter, or more self-important.

I do like riding the train. I just wish everybody would just shut up. I have a Fiddle Pulled from the Throat of Sparrow. Can't you see I'm reading here?

I work in a cubby hole. In the mornings I listen to my coworkers bitch when they get here in the morning. About how they got so many emails and how late they had to work the night before and the great coach bag they just bougth and how they want to buy a condo but the prices are just too high and their new ties and their shoes and their exercise regiment and their phone ringing and how great they are etc It goes on for about an hour every day. No wonder they have to work late.

People have stopped trying to have these conversations with me, and to be honest, I don't mind. If I want to talk to somebody, I go to my friend's office or out to the bar and talk to the service staff. They don't rattle on endlessly about themselves or their jobs. Sometimes they talk about sports and I listen and occasionally ask questions because I don't know a lot about sports. Sometimes they ask about the upcoming weekend or previous weekend. We all give short answers. We laugh. Belly laughs. Chuckles. Slap you on the shoulder laughs.

Does all of this make me a snob? Probably, but that's alright. They are also snobs. The kind of snobs that ask you to go to coffee or lunch with them then literally don't talk to you at all. Go out of their way to not respond to you at all. Will literally turn their backs on you.

I have been thinking about poems, mostly. And trying to get together with people who are leaving or people I want to see before I leave. I am missing people I haven't left yet. I am planning my future. I am wondering how other people's priorities become priorities. I am wishing I brought headphones. I have been singing Jefferson Airplane for two days and wishing, lightly, that I was Grace Slick, who is now an 'artist.' I kind of like her work but also wonder if she will ever grow out of Alice in Wonderland and the timekeeping white rabbit. I want to take a nap, have nice dreams of fields, endless fields.

I miss my cat. I miss my cat. I miss my cat.

Tuesday, June 5, 2007

Don't you want somebody to love.
Don't you need somebody to love.
Wouldn't you love somebody to love.
You better find somebody to love.

Friday, June 1, 2007


I have to say, as far as methods of travel, riding the train to and from work to commute aint too bad. I thought it would be more quiet, more upscale than a bus, but no. Snobby professionals are just as noisy as drunks and crackheads, but they talk about how they don't "mind" small cars or how Paris was or where they got their suit instead. They talk loudly though. They want everybody to know how great they are. Kind of American Psycho style. What kind of business cards do you have?

And while most of the views weren't stunning, in fact often industrial, and at one point I got to see steam rising off of a dump pile, it was nice to look out the window. Sometimes there were trees and with the sun out they were lime colored and nearly transparent. It took an hour and when we got to Seattle bodies flushed out into the terminal and waited in lines 6 bodies deep to climb the stairs up into the city. And the walk, on a day like today, from the train to my work was nice. It made me want to walk all day and never go back to work. Next week will be different. Next week I'll ride my bike to the station, take it on the train, ride it to work and back. But that will be good too. I used to hate riding a bicycle. Now I look forward to it. I can hardly wait. My shiny blue Schwinn, vintage 1978.